Monday, July 8, 2013

Could I Be a Tour de France Rider?

Could I be a Tour de France rider?
 
 
NO!
 
NEVER, NEVER, NEVER....
and you probably can't either....if you are a woman.
 
Sorry, I don't want to be mean, but facts are facts.
 
And here are the facts.
 
First of all, I am a female. And if you have noticed there are NO females in the Tour.
 
 
 
There has been a women's version of the Tour, known as the Grande Boucle, which has been held since 1984, but some years it is not held and some years it has had only 10 stages, or 4 stages, and sometimes they have sponsors and sometimes they don't and....oh, forget it..that's not a version of the Men's Tour at all....
because the Men's Tour de France has LOTS of sponsors and money and every year they have ALL the stages.
 
Okay, so the women's don't REALLY have their own version of the Tour and they can't be in or haven't been in the Men's version because?????
 
Uhm? I googled "Why aren't women allowed in the Tour de France?"
 
The best answer I came up with was it has to do with Money and Vaginas.
 
If you want more information about that you can read this blog by Lindsay Kandra -
 
Is there a Tour for women this year?
 
They have a facebook page but it doesn't have much information about it:
 
There really hasn't been a Tour for women for the past few years.
 
A group of 6 women rode the entire Tour in 2012, but it wasn't really sponsored so no BIG money. I remember seeing some bits and pieces about them, but nothing to pay much attention to...
 
(yes, I purposely made the font small there because that is how it must feel when you are doing a herculean thing but no one is paying attention because you are women).
 
 
Why?
I am guessing it is because lack of money and no penises.
 
Is there a female version of the Tour this year?
Doesn't appear so.
Why?
I don't know all the facts, but it looks as if it has to do with MONEY and VAGINAS also known as lack of money and lack of penises.
 
(I know you all love pictures, but I AM NOT going to be adding pictures here of what you think I might add....)
 
Oh, you have dirty minds....
The main reason is LACK OF MONEY!!!!!
 
 
Okay, so who is the Main Source to get information about the Tour for Women, or the non-existent tour for women.....Bob Roll.
 
If he knows all the information about the Tour de France, I am hoping he will know all about Tour de Frances sans "you know what."
 
 
 
 
 
So I sent Bobke a message by way of NBC Sport Cycling tonight asking him if WHY he thought women were not in the tour and specifically if it was because of money and vaginas?
And yes, I would like a hat when he picks my question to air on television.
 
Do you think he is going to pick my question to answer on air?
 
 
If I want this hat, I may have to buy it.
 
So, what's your opinion on why there are no women in the Tour de France? Do you know any FAST women cyclists? Do you get "chicked" going up some hills? Would you watch the Tour more or less if there were women on the cycling teams? If women were on the teams and they won a stage, would men resembling James Bond come out on stage to present her with her trophy or flowers and a stuffed animal?
 
 
Would she be required to kiss them on the cheek or shake their hand? If she did kiss them, would people make innuendos about it?
 
I can't wait for women to be in the Tour.
It will add a whole other dimension to the sport.
 
And if men will do this for men?
(Close your eyes and scroll down if you don't want to see half naked men).....
 
 
WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING
 
 
 
 
or
 
 
 
Can you imagine what some women would do for women riding in the tour?
 
I would think that thought alone would be incentive for men to get out their wallets and fork out the money to get women in the race.
Yeah, I kind of had a feeling it was about MONEY and Vaginas.
 
 
 
 
 

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