Monday, July 29, 2013

Ride a Bull to Get ABS?

Get Buff with a Mechanical Bull.
That's what the email message said.
I couldn't resist. I read more.
If there's anything the Marlboro Man was known for (besides, you know, dying of cancer), it was his rippling physique.
I know I can be witty, but those are their words, not mine.

 And now you too can have the hot bod of a cowboy, thanks to the Mechanical Core Muscle Trainer!
bull trainerEssentially a mechanical bull, this muscle trainer replicates that same experience you find in a bar... minus the 12 tequila shots and people screaming.

And my question is why would I want to do this if I hadn't had some tequila shots (12 for me would be TOO Many; uh, 3 would probably have be hanging out by the toilet)....and I don't really like screaming people, it reminds me of too much of my children when they yelled at me, "You don't know anything!" and then ran in their room and slammed the door.

 Able to support 265 lbs. and intended for 20-minute workout sessions, the trainer is designed as a low impact machine that hits your legs, stomach, back and "badass cowboy" muscles (note: not a real muscle).

Can't I just plank for 10 minutes and get the same results on my legs, stomach and back? And if I am going to lay down lot of $$$ for this bull-ride machine, I definitely want a "badass cowboy" or in my case, "cowgirl"  muscle...and they say there isn't such a thing.

 With nine speeds and adjustable routine programming, this private bull is useful to bronco busters and rodeo clowns alike.

 And it definitely (probably) won't give you cancer!

Neither will planks!

Okay, I was intrigued enough to check it out. $1500.
The official site says this about it:

This is the low-impact mechanical exerciser that gently and thoroughly concentrates on developing strength in the glutes, upper thigh, abdominal, and lower back muscles, and is especially beneficial for novice exercisers or those unable to tolerate excessive pressure and stress on joints. It allows you to conduct a 20-minute exercise routine while seated, making it easy to perform at home while working on other tasks or watching television. The saddle supports up to 265 lbs., gently tilting back and forth, left and right in preprogrammed sequences that can be selected at the touch of a button. The gentle swaying of the saddle forces the core body muscles to expand and contract, keeping you upright in a relaxed, properly aligned sitting position which helps develop important muscle structure necessary to maintain good posture. The exercise routines also provide a beneficial aerobic workout ideal for those who need to maintain low target heart rates. Any of three basic programs and nine speeds are easily controlled from the panel at the pommel, and a set of stirrups and a handle help beginners maintain proper balance during the slow workout that simulates the gentle back-and-forth motion experienced while riding a horse at a lazy gait. Plugs into AC. 29" H x 16 1/2" W x 34 1/3" D. (82 lbs.)
I get the watching TV part, but what other tasks could you do while sitting on this?
Uh, don't answer that.
When I win the lottery I am going to buy 5 of these and put them in my family room to replace my worn out sofa and love seat. I am sure my kids will love them.

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