For a while I've been thinking about this topic.
And I've been reading about this topic.
But today, the minister at the Rotary Club of Riverside meeting, nailed it.
"What is the opposite of Love?"
My first thought was Hate.
Someone else in the room said apathy.
The correct answer?
I think a lot of choices I have made in my life have been based on fear.
Fear of dying
Fear of people not liking me
Fear of ______________. (too short, not being smart enough, too blond, too loud, too quiet, too smart, too...oh, Just feel in the blank.)
Then something clicked in me.
I didn't want to be afraid or be fearful.
Oh, there is that LOVE word again.
I wanted to be BOLD.
I wanted to Unafraid.
I wanted to be FEARLESS.
I use to have a fear of heights.
So I signed my family up for a rock climbing course in Joshua Tree.
Okay, so I still don't LOVE heights, but I don't hate them.
This was several years ago when I knew I needed to get over my FEAR of heights.
But I am NOT afraid of heights nor do I have FEAR of them.
I use to be afraid of riding my bike fast down a hill.
So I did it. The first time I put the brakes on several times. The second time I put the brakes on less.
Now I love going downhill fast as long as I feel in control of my bike and I can see where the road is going.I still have to use my brakes at times.
But I am NOT afraid.
I don't FEAR riding downhill fast.
Okay, sorry, but the above is just crazy!
I use to HATE swimming.
I didn't feel as if I was getting enough oxygen.
I would get scared that I wasn't going to be able to breath.
I would flip on my back and backstroke.
One time I backstroked almost an entire swim in a triathlon.
NOW I LOVE swimming.
Now, I love swimming so much that I almost HATE swimming in the pool at the gym it's almost a FEAR. That's a problem I'll deal with at another time.
I LOVE swimming in open water, as long as it isn't the ocean, and I am going to change that.
In one year, I am going to blog that I LOVE swimming in the ocean.
I am going to turn my FEAR into LOVE.
Okay, that's easy to say. But how do you do that?
Months ago, I read "The FEAR Project" by Jaimal Yogis.
In his book he analyzed why we fear some things and how we can get away from that fear.
This book is worth a few reads if you have FEAR that is keeping YOU from doing something - ANYTHING - that you may want to do.
Thank you Diana Nyad who overcame fear of failure and kept on trying until she succeeded in swimming from Cuba to Florida.
Here's my take.
(Yikes, a spider. What has you all riled up? The spider hasn't DONE anything...it is your FEAR of the spider that has you riled up. What is REAL? Get riled up when the spider actually jumps on you and bites you. Until then remain calm and have NO FEAR - that's my example of fear having the power and facing the truth setting you free. FYI - I like spiders, bees, lizards and mice.)
Jaimal Yogis didn't call it LOVE to overcome the fear, it was more like using positive thinking and "good feelings" to replace memories in your mind that caused fear.
Fear of heights?
Yeah, probably because as a kid my mom would tell me and my sister - "Don't go near that edge!"
(Love you mom, but, yikes, that build up some memories of fear of edges.)
I can see it in my mind - scary edge, don't go near it.
I have since worked REALLY hard to replace my scary heights memories with good ones.
"Oh, isn't it pretty WAY up here?"
"Look how far I can see."
"I am totally safe because I know what I am doing."
And that is the key.
KNOW what you are doing.
PRACTICE what you are doing
PRACTICE what you are doing
PRACTICE what you are doing.
Sorry for the repetition, but that is what it takes to replace a FEAR memory with a good memory.
Riding my bike down a hill fast?
Scary at first, but each time I did the same downhill I could go a little faster and faster and faster. I gained more confidence and soon I was whizzing down that hill.
I could then take my confidence and SKILL and apply it to a different hill.
Swimming in open water.
I'm not even going to add links here to all my posts about my swimming issues. They are TOO numerous.
But I laugh to think of the time I swam at Bay Shore in Long Beach and I was SCARED.
Now I look at it and it is small and just a good place to swim for a long stretch of time before you hit the edge and have to turn around.
Way better than a pool.
Now I look at open water and I see fun swimming!
That's how I want to be about life!
I want to turn FEAR into LOVE for all the things I want to do in life!!!!
I have a new FB friend who is big into scuba-diving...
Did I mention I have a FEAR of being underwater for a long period of time?.......